Monday, September 7, 2009

Labor Day

Now that I do not have a regular hours job, I have a hard time figuring out when I should be working and when I should be relaxing. I have a whole list of chores to do, a long list of want-to-do's and of course, the competition for my attention among my daughter, husband, and cats. Don't underestimate the cats...they are as greedy for love as anyone else in this house. The sum answer is that I run around a lot getting many things half done, some things fully done half-assed and few things completely well performed. I know it is really no different from when I was working 8 to 5 elsewhere. In fact, it was much the same ratio of outcomes. Its just that when I had a place to go to be working, it divided my time better so that when I was at work, I was fully engaged in work. When I was at home, it was time for relaxing or home chores. Now, when I can't ever seem to be 'done' with anything (laundry always has to be done, cleaning, neatening, painting, and momming), I am less organized. Sometimes I even invent chores that are single jobs that can be completed simply so that I have something I can acoomplish and check off my list.
The other problem with this arrangement is that I seem to have no down-time. I don't have as much time for myself and my own interests. I feel a little guilty ignoring the other demands to carve out a little space. What I don't know is whether this is the normal state of being a parent or whether I am particularly poor at time management and planning. I have gone through the Franklin Covey what matters most series, and I think I am on-track in the big picture. But I do have times where I feel like my life is slipping out of me and I cannot control it, slow it, or even change course. Sometimes I wonder what the hell is wrong with me? How can I be so book smart and life stupid?
I think this must be where religion helps people, particularly when their faith encourages the giving-up of control to God. I sometimes envy those who do this, but then I think about how they also can't take credit for doing something well (after all, God actually did it). So I am stuck.

1 comment:

  1. I have been feeling the exact same way, like I can't keep up with the house, the laundry, the yard, (haven't waxed a car in three years...) I think it is part of being a parent. There is just so much to do, and so many lined up for attention too. I feel like once I have met Abby's needs, I need to spend time with Tim, then the cats are waiting around (or being actively bad to speed things up!)

    July and August were the two fastest months in my whole life. They each went by about as fast as a week! And it took me soooo much longer to paint those 139 houses for Cynde than I planned it too. I think it is because Abby needs so much interaction now. And I assume that will be the case for a good long while.

    So I think you are doing very well, and are not life dumb at all! If you can keep most things at "half-assed" done most of the time, kudos! I think it means you are focusing on what matters the most, spending time with the children, spouse, and felines in your life.

    That is what I am telling myself anyway...

    It is so nice to be organized though. I love the parts of our days that do have a schedule, and that is the morning routine, and the bedtime routine. Sometimes I think if I had a sort of weekly routine in place, I might be better off. But I get so distracted by everything... I told Tim I would stop by Kroger on the way to pick up Abby last week and I just drove right past it.

    One thing I always admired about Judy was that she would give herself some down time, by going off and being by herself for half a day every now and then.

    P.S. I totally agree about the God thing too.

    ReplyDelete